Delivery story 84 Josh writes: I have been delivering pizzas for a local pizza place called 'The Pizza Factory' in Decatur, IL off and on for the past 4 years. During that time I have seen some wild things while driving all over town. Our delivery area is the largest of any place in this area, we will literally go to the outskirts of the surrounding towns in all directions (about a 30-mile radius.) Quite a bit of the city is pretty ghetto and there are several areas where you just never want to deliver, not only because you are guaranteed to get stiffed, but also because it's the hood which can be quite dangerous by itself. I have quite a few stories but I am going to try to list only the most interesting ones. One time I took a delivery into the ghetto not far from our store over on the west end of town and I knew just from the neighborhood that I was coming back with no tip. I knock on the door and from inside comes the usual ghetto shout, "WHO IS IT?!?!" (I'm always thinking, didn't these people order a pizza? who do they think it is? isn't glancing out the window easier than shouting?) But anyway, the door opens and it's a 30-something year-old black woman. The pizza came up to be $8.00 (our delivery minimum) but she only had 5 dollars in cash, so she asks me, "Is that cool?" and I say, "If you can't pay for it, I'm going to take it back to the store and eat it myself." So she invited me in for a minute while she looked for more money. I figure she has some cash stashed somewhere or something. What does she do? She goes digging in the couch looking for change. After digging coins out of furniture for almost 15 minutes she was still 50 cents short so I just covered the rest and got out of there. One time I took a delivery to the work release center which I guess is kind of a halfway house between jail and freedom on the north end of town. These guys almost NEVER tip. Well the guy's order ended up being $8.50 and he gives me 9 dollars. I didn't have any loose change. (This is my strategy in the ghetto. I never carry coins. That way this lame non-tipper would still be putting 50 cents into my gas tank.) So I tell him, "I only have cash, no coins." So he says, "Gimme a dollar back," and I did. I figure he is going to just give me exact change but no, he had no change as well. He just wanted the 50 cents back. He was trying to short change me, in other words. I was like, "Sir, the order is 8.50. If you won't pay for it I'll take it back to the store." There is nothing like having a huge black man, who is a prison inmate, totally ANGRY at you over a matter of 50 cents. I thanked him for the change and quickly left. One time I took a delivery to one of the more run-down apartment complexes in town. The total on the delivery came up to be $12.09. The girl hands me twelve dollars and asks me if that's cool. I said, "Ma'am the total is $12.09 and this is only twelve," and she looked very pissed off at this point. She said, "It's nice cents man." I said, "Ma'am, those 9 cents are not coming out of my pocket. Surely someone inside has 9 cents." So she tells me to hang on a minute and then goes inside hollaring at everyone, "Ya'll got nice cents?" and I can hear, "Hell nah. I ain't got no money," and similar remarks being said inside. Finally, after 5 minutes or so, she returned to the door with 9 pennies. I thanked her and then when she closed the door I just tossed the pennies into the bushes. I just wanted to see if she could come up with the 9 cents. LOL. By far the most interesting thing that has ever happened to me happened over 2 years ago. I was driving up one of the main roads here in town heading to a northern delivery. It was summer time, a beautiful night around 10 PM. I got stopped at a stop light and when it turned green I continued on my way. This road is a 4-lane road (2 each way) and on both sides are houses. In the distance I could see the railroad crossing about a quarter of a mile up the road. At the crossing facing toward me were two cars, a big Ford Crown Vic and a 90's white Chevy Lumina. All of a sudden I hear motors revving and the two cars take off screaching their tires a little bit. They were drag racing right in my direction (on the other side of the road.) I keep heading toward them for my delivery and the white Lumina starts to swerve in the inside lane. The guy starts swerving back and forth like he is going to lose it and then he gets the car sideways just a little bit and smacks his right front tire on the curb at just the right angle. They were really moving by this point, actually racing. Bam! The guy hits the curb with that wheel and the entire car flips over TWICE and goes right into the front yard of some unlucky person's home and the car is still flipping over as it crashes into the front porch of the house, completely destroying it! My jaw dropped as I had just witnessed a very impressive car crash. The Crown Vic, which has blown past us at this point, slammed on the brakes and backed up toward the crash. The driver of the white Lumina, which is now upside down inside somebody's front porch, comes crawing out the driver side window, runs across the yard and hops into the Crown Vic which peels out and takes off!!!! I could not belive what I had seen. I had just passed a cop before I stopped at the light so I pulled a u-turn and informed the police that a car had just crashed into a house. The cop responded, "Don't worry; we know." By the time I was north bound and up to the crash there were already two cop cars and a firetruck on the scene. return to top