Delivery story 62 Doug E writes: Several years ago I was delivering for Donatos Pizza in the south end of Columbus, Ohio when I took one delivery to one of the more run down neighborhoods on our delivery area. It was my last delivery of the night and I was working 'till close so I was really wanting to drop these 2 pies off and head back in to cash out for the night. The door was wide open as it was a hot summer night and inside were these three guys who by looking at them made me start to hear the dueling banjo's theme from Deliverence. This place was trashed and they were drunk as monkeys. The one sitting at the kitchen table said,"Come on in. We're too drunk to get up, as we're celebrating Joe's release from the can (jail.)" Not wanting to cross the doorway (company policy and my own) I said I couldn't come in, so the guy on the couch started to get up to pay me but he fell right over in a heap on the floor and did not move except to breath. Joe, the lucky man of the hour, started to get up and walk for the front door but took off for the bathroom where he proceeded to puke in the toilet. The guy still at the kitchen table told me, "Just come in and get the money out of his pants," pointing to the guy on the floor. Knowing they were too drunk to call and complain, I told them to have a nice night and bother someone else with their orders as I was going home. I went back to the shop and they did not complain on me or call in at all. This made me think of Jeff Foxworthy ... You know you are a redneck when you are too drunk to pay the pizza guy!!