Delivery story 312 Razor Sunshine writes: Man, I've had some doozies working in Morgantown, WV for a corporate shop and also for a cool independent. 1. I brought an order to a trailer park at the farthest edge of our enormous delivery area. A big-bodied girl came outside, handed her lit cigarette to a boy of about 11 years old, then pulled a wad of bills from her bra right against her huge sweaty boob. I told her the total was 44.99 and she said it was cool, she had 48 bucks. But then she pulled out three ones and handed me 45 and walked inside. Instead of getting mad, I went back to the store and wrote a mock letter to her to post on the wall: "Thank you for your generous one-cent tip. It will buy four times as much as the measly 1/4 cent tip and twice as much as the thrifty, yet ample, 1/2 cent tip. Thank goodness gas is only 4 bucks a gallon, not 5." 2. I took an order to a dicey housing project where we will only deliver to the main sign out front, due to drivers being robbed there in the past. The guy made a big show of how he didn't mind walking to the sign, since he didn't have his kids that night. Sorry buddy. If you don't like it, don't order. Anyway, he walked over and handed me 10 bucks for an order that was 8.95 and said, "Just give me a dollar back because my buddy needs it." Then he asks if I can give the buddy a ride up the street. Yeah. Ummm ... No sir, I can not. Seriously? Maybe if you tipped me. 3. One night, a guy called and asked if we'd deliver to him. He was three miles past our delivery area but we were really slow that night so my manager let me take it. When I got there, he opened the door and let his little ankle-biter dog charge me. I start poking defensively at the dog with my foot and asked him to grab the stupid thing, which he did. Of course he stiffed me. Wonder if we'll make the exception and deliver to him next time? Probably not. It's not all bad though. 1. Once, highly illegally, a very drunk man offered me a 20 dollar tip to run and grab a case of beer. Twenty bucks in 5 minutes is damn good money, so I did it. Of course, I did ID him to make sure he was of age. 2. If I said yes to every person that offered me a beer, shot, or hit from a bong, I'd be a very intoxicated delivery driver. Nice folks, just misguided. return to top