Delivery story 284 Nick the Quick writes: I don't know about every other delivery person, but most of my stories always happen on the last delivery of the night. My friends tend to joke about it. I say, "Yo, check this out. On my last delivery of the night tonight." This isn't one of my most interesting stories, but it's one that I tell the most. One night I was delivering to a house that wasn't really that far away. Of course the house did not have a number on its mailbox or anywhere on the house. Same story with the houses before and after. I basically had to guess which house it was. I decided to pick the house in the center since I thought it would be my best bet of getting the right house. I pulled into the driveway and grabbed the two pies out of my car. I started to walk up to the door and noticed the door was wide open, but the screen door was shut. This isn't that odd. Most people do that when they know I'm about to show up. I soon noticed this wasn't what I would see at most houses. I saw a women slouched down on the couch that easily looked a little drunk. She wore overalls, but her left overall strap was undone. I didn't think much of it since she was drunk. I just knocked on the door, hoping it will wake her up so I can get the hell out of there. I knocked and she turned over to see who it was. Her hair was all in front of her face and she couldn't see a thing. All of a sudden, I saw a hand emerge from her overalls and brush her hair away. She squinted at me with her drunken eyes and turned back around and I saw her hand go right back into her pants. This drunk woman was just sitting there masturbating with her screen door open knowing someone stood at her door. About three minutes later her husband came to the door moving extremely fast like he was on speed or something. I got an $8 tip. Hell, my customers can do whatever they want in front of me for an $8 tip for two pies. return to top