Delivery story 11 Pizza Man writes: I work at a Hungry Howie's in Tallahassee, FL. It's actually the busiest pizza store in N. FL, but that's just what I've been told. Anyway, by far the most interesting story I have is about this guy named Norman. Norman was about 5'11 and weighed about 450 lbs. This is no exaggeration. Norm was one big dude. When he got in his car (a nissan stanza) it tilted a full 6 inches to the driver's side. Anyway, Norm had just taken this delivery to a guy who lived on the 4th floor of an apt complex, forgotten his 2-liter, so he had to go back down to his car and come back upstairs to the guy he was delivering to. The guy not only got the wrong pizza (he didn't eat pork, this works into the story later), but he also complained about Norman "breathing on him" and said something to the affect of needing to run a few laps. Well, Norm just happened to be the one on the phone with the guy when he called to complain (this complex is only about 2 minutes away), so Norm tells this guy to suck his @#$%. 5 minutes later, the guy shows up at the store, with his brother, who dwarfs Norm. He's like 6'11, 300 lbs.+, and ALL muscle. This guy just happened to be the one who called back, complaining because he got sausage instead of beef. He's all like, "I'm here to suck the @#$! of whoever just told me to." Well, by this time, Norm has left the building, out the back door, and driven home. It took us 30 minutes to diffuse the guy, and Norm was fired. As far as being burned goes, I have been there far too many times. I've been delivering for 2 years now, and our store is unlike anthing I've seen in the pizza world. It's not uncommon for drivers to leave the store with 5 or 6 deliveries. I've taken as many as 10, but the record is 15 (without going to the same place with different orders). Our area is huge. We go 4 miles to the north, 10 miles to the south, 8 miles to the west, and 3 miles east. Plus we have other little patches to the northwest and northeast that we share with other stores (due to the fact that we're the only one open 'til 2 am). This can make for some interesting runs. For example, this one run was a 4-pie, all to the northeast, but the address that read "old bainbridge" was supposed to be "N. Caimbridge", about 12 miles to the south of where I was. Several times I have taken runs with wrong addresses in totally different directions. This is all accredited to IDIOTS being hired on as communications specialists (phone people). But the worst of these is the lesson I taught to myself after being on the job for only 2 weeks. Like I said, we go 10 miles to the south and 8 to the west. There is no diagonal connecting these two. The closest we have to such is the Capital Circle, and it's a rounded off L at best. Well, in our area, we have a "cornerstone ln" and a "cobblestone ln". One is the extreme south and one is the extreme west. Both popped up on the screen within 4 minutes of each other. I knew where cobblestone was, and I assumed cornerstone to be another of the "idiot" mistakes, so I took them both...and mixed up the orders. Needless to say, it ruined my night. My average delivery time was like 40 minutes for that night, and I only took 14 runs in 5 hours (attrocious for our store). Stiffs...I only have a few fond memories here. This one time I delivered a $6.94 to a guy in this ghettoed-out trailer park, and, to my surprise, he handed me a ten and said keep the change. When I thanked him and started to walk off, he yelled, "Hey, where you goin'?" I reminded him that he told me to keep the change, and he replied, "I said keep the CHANGE." I felt so burned. Another time I delivered to this 138-year-old lady who almost forgot my tip (good heavens!), so I waited for 5 minutes while she dug around for...you guessed it, 25 cents! I'm surprised "annoying questions" isn't a topic on this site. Questions like, "Who is it?" when you know good and well you ordered pizza 40 minutes ago. "Is it hot?" when they're watching the steam rise from the box. "Can I get a ride to the store?" (You'd be surprised how much I've got this one.) "Is it too late to cancel?" when you're at the door...I'm sure you could add dozens to this. One last note: I have this pet peeve that, although is not monetarily detrimental, it still drives me crazy. It can be summed up in one word - EBONICS! Nothing like hearing, "Dis Dalivuh." (This is delivery) Or how about "I unoaded mah peesa ovanowago." (I done ordered my pizza over an hour ago) Or how about the pronouciation of the word "sausage"...comes our sounding like "shawshish". Or the infamous question, axed 20 times or more every night, "Whushole speshussiz?" (You figure it out) return to top